How to Talk to Your Kids About What's Happening in the World Right Now
Your kid already knows something is wrong. They’ve seen it on TikTok, heard about it in school, and saw glimpses of it on the TV and hushed conversations. The question shouldn’t be whether to talk to them about what's happening in the world; it's whether you'll be the one to help them make sense of it.
Children get all their information from social media
Your kids are spending more time than ever on social media, particularly Youtube. They're sorting through all of this information on their own without anyone to guide them through disturbing news sometimes up to 7 hours daily, isolating themselves from you.
Your unspoken worry communicates more than you think
Research shows that children of anxious parents are more likely to read ambiguous situations as threatening, and that effect continues as the child gets older. Children often sense a parent’s anxiety, even when the parent does not say anything out loud or act unusually.
Your silence is leaving your children to navigate this alone, without anyone to turn to, and most of the time, they're walking away misinformed.
How to talk to your kids about what’s happening in the world
Start with what they already know
During these times, it’s essential to create a safe and welcoming environment for your child to express their concerns. The first step is to establish what they already know.
Listen to what they say and stay alert to what they may express fear or worry about. It’s okay to acknowledge that this is a stressful and uncertain time; it’s often one of the most effective towards establishing a safe space and acknowledging the elephant in the room, their fear.
Be honest - but not overwhelming
If your child brings forward any false information, make sure you correct any misconceptions they might have about current situations. Be mindful about limiting information to a child’s age; keep graphic details out, and don’t overwhelm them with larger details they can’t wrap their heads around.
If your child asks you a question about something and you don’t know the answer, it’s okay to admit you don’t know. Clarify that you will try to reach the answer together.
Let them feel what they feel
Acknowledgement is the single most important step in establishing that what your child is going through is normal, valid, and important. Make sure to include this in your conversations with your child, acknowledging and validating their fears, concerns, and worries.
Invalidating or dismissing their feelings may backfire and have the child retreat to their solitude, isolating themselves online with no support system to look back on.
Keep. Checking. In.
Checking in every few days is extremely important for a child’s well-being. We recommend asking how your child’s feeling, checking if they’ve heard anything worrying, and encouraging them to have a chat again. This is crucial as it creates an open line of communication for your child and builds a safe space for ongoing conversations.
A Quick Guide by Age: What This Can Look Like in Practice
Every child is different, but age gives you a guide on how to talk to each child in an age frame, how much to share, what kind of support your child will most likely need.
Elementary-aged kids (6-11)
Children around this age are concrete thinkers. They perceive the world around them and are able to tell when something is wrong. However, they might not always express this verbally. Anxiety in children can present as irritability, trouble sleeping, or physical complaints like stomach aches. Some children go through things silently, often repressing their emotions and feelings, unbeknownst to their parents, they are going through hard times as well.
With more extreme feelings of stress, some older children might revert back to behaviors they might’ve outgrown when they were children. Symptoms look like excess clinginess, disrupted sleep, meltdowns, and potty incidents.
How to approach the situation: Sometimes the hardest part is knowing how to start. For younger children, simple and grounding works best. When a child asks what's happening, something like "Something unfair is happening, and lots of adults are working hard to make it better. You are safe here with us" goes a long way.
Tweens and Teens (12-18)
Teens are navigating social media in real time with constant misinformation, graphic content, and disturbing news more than any age group. Research finds that daily exposure to social media is associated with nearly four times the likelihood of frequent depressive feelings and anxiety symptoms in adolescents.
For this reason, parents should talk openly about using online experiences to reinforce digital resilience by having open conversations about online experiences, asking curious questions, and modeling critical thinking themselves.
How to approach the situation:
Parents should show examples of how misinformation happens, to show not to believe everything they see online. Make sure to ask your teens how they feel when they see absurd information. Misinformation usually takes advantage of strong emotions, such as anger, fear, outrage (otherwise known as rage-baiting in Gen-Z talk)
Ask your teens to always fact check; when they see a post, they should ask: Who made this? What do they gain from you believing it? Do they have any credentials?
Try this with something mild at first: let it be with a viral food fact, or wellness hack. Do the critical thinking exercise with your teen and then work it up to news content.
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You don’t have to have all the answers. You just need to be present enough to have conversations with your child. And while the subject may be difficult, attempting a conversation is always better than leaving your child out of it.
If you’re unsure where to start, we’ve put together a resource to help you and your child regulate through this time together Stress Management Toolkit on our website here.
It’s designed exactly for these moments.
Take care,
Sarah - PHP team
Head of content and programs